Weeks go by as I continue to spend my days within the 24 square meters of my studio apartment. Feels as if they go by much faster than usual. I can’t believe we’re already in the second week of August. Nowadays, due to isolation and social distancing, loneliness became kind of a trending topic. Though, the so-called loneliness pandemic existed long before COVID-19. One might have expected an increase in loneliness as many countries announced their lockdowns. Studies done in the US show that, in fact, there is no “significant statistical difference” between the levels of loneliness in a pre-pandemic and a post-pandemic world. Of course we have to keep in mind that
- This study was done in the US and
- Each person is different
I must say that the results of the studies, in some way, do make sense. Despite the fact that we are more physically distant from other people than before. This leads me to the topic of my article today: friendships.
“That sense of solidarity that people are feeling […] when they are collectively going through a challenge together — seems to be a real strong protective factor.” (1)
Sharing experiences is a powerful way of connecting with others. In fact, studies show that people tend to have more positive views of those who talk about their experiences compared to those who talk about things they possess. Previously, in The Struggle of Language, I mentioned the importance of having people with whom you can allow your brain to rest from constantly having to translate and adapt in a place that isn’t your home. The process of making friends in this new place is not always easy. Especially when you move abroad to a country where everything and everyone is new to you. Different cultures and maybe even different languages. It might take you some time to adapt to this new reality. But in the beginning, as you’re learning about this new country (new to you), it’s very likely to make friends with locals. I mean, who better to teach you about their culture and customs?
Though at one point you start feeling that urge to “take a break” from constantly adapting. Because these friendships with locals don’t always evolve into a close friends relationship. If you’re lucky, you may have people from the same background as you with whom you can connect. If not, you may end up feeling left out. As if you don’t belong there. In such cases you start looking for others in a situation similar to yours. Not necessarily people who are “left out”, but people who are also new in a different country. In other words; foreigners. Connecting with foreigners many times happens naturally. Sometimes even before connecting with locals. Why? Shared experiences. All of you know what it feels like to not feel at home. You remember that first day arriving in this country. You remember that first cultural shock you had when interacting with locals. You remember missing your home. This makes it easier to connect with each other. Not because you feel integrated or at home, but because you realize that you’re not alone going through this process. In my case, not having people with the same background as me, I found it easier to make friends with other international students.
“My biggest challenge was to understand the new culture I found myself in.”
– Anonymous
Even though it may have been your decision to move abroad, having to go through the process of adapting on your own, can sometimes feel exhausting. Which is why it’s valuable (if not necessary) for those living abroad to have a group formed by members who share similar experiences as a support system. Talking to other students living abroad I learned that living between international students gave them a feeling of being at home. It also depends on the city in which you live. In a big city such as Buenos Aires, it’s rather hard to get that sense of belonging. Using public transportation when commuting to work or university, you notice how everyone is on their own living within their own world. There’s little to no interaction between strangers. It’s very rare to see the same faces on a daily basis. This rising individualization negatively affects our well-being. Studies show that talking to strangers on the bus, the train or randomly on the street increases significantly our sense of happiness. It also makes us more tolerant to stress. Yet we rarely strike up a conversation with strangers. Thinking they aren’t interested or that we will be bothering them. On the other hand, in a small city most people know, or at least recognize, those who live there. Having this daily interaction with them gives you a sense of familiarity. It creates a foundation for social interaction and for friendships.
During this quarantine, I’ve been investigating and reading about happiness, purpose and well-being. These past 5 months of isolation gave me a chance to think and question things in my life. Most importantly, as an architecture student I started to ask myself, how can architecture improve our well-being? Whether it’s with the design of public spaces or with the design of apartment buildings. How can we encourage that interaction between strangers in a world that’s everyday more individualized? How can architecture make you feel at home while you’re far away from home? From an economic standpoint, it makes sense to pack as many apartments as possible in a high rise building. Is it possible though that we’re sacrificing our well-being and happiness just to make more money? The answer at this point is most likely a yes. It’s time for a change. It’s time to tackle the famous loneliness pandemic through architecture.
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References:
KIDS 
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