Buenos Aires, Argentina

July 6th, 2020

Still Quarantined

I look around me and I realize it’s different. The world. The world around me is different now. I wonder, who would I be if I never left. Though it’s too late. Too late to change my mind, my decisions, or my life. The world is different now. Now, this is my world and I have to keep on going. 

“So contrary to most people, I was actually super excited to move here. I wasn’t feeling too comfortable in my skin […] so I thought a move was exactly what I needed.”

– Anonymous

My world changed on August 1st, 2016; almost four years ago. I arrived in Buenos Aires on a cold winter night, which, coming from a Caribbean island, felt even colder to me. The only knowledge I had of the city and the country was from the many articles I read about visiting and living in Buenos Aires. I had spent many hours on the internet to know exactly what needed to be my first steps once I arrived. Getting to a point where I would be reaching the end of an article only to realize that I had already read it once before. Maybe even twice. I tend to do that when I get excited about an idea, an adventure, or just anything new. In some cases, it may be to confirm a thought circling my mind, while in others it’s simply because I forgot what I read. 

My parents didn’t like the idea of me traveling alone to a country I’d never been to before. They decided to accompany me for a couple of days. Finding a suitable apartment to rent via the internet is harder than one might imagine. For this reason, we stayed at a hotel the first few days. I don’t think they knew how prepared I actually was until we got there. While they remained back at the hotel, I was out in the city doing all the necessary paperwork. Of course, having my parents there with me was very useful. There were details I missed, even after reading hundreds of articles, and things I never even considered. After all, I was only 18 years old. 

This article is not meant to tell the story of my life, though. Fast forwarding to today and thinking about the years that have passed, one thing is clear. I still don’t feel at home. To this day, I’ve lived in five different apartments. That’s more than one per year. Yet to this day I still get a funny feeling saying “I’m going home”. Because I never considered any of those apartments my home. Can you imagine that? Not feeling at home in the place you live? 

“ […] and if you feel isolated from society, then you don’t feel at home, but as a passing foreigner. Remembering that one day you’ll leave the country.”

– Anonymous

But what does it even mean to feel at home? The answer to this question differs depending on who you ask. We all have different requirements that need to be met in order to consider our apartment a home. Being able to leave your house in “normal” clothes or the use of sandals outside the house instead of shoes are some indicators for me that “I am home”. I still choose my clothing carefully and put on my shoes when going to the store that’s less than a block away. It sounds stupid, I know. Yet with that stupid example, I know that I still don’t feel at home. It’s a feeling of alienation. Of not belonging. Constantly feeling like a visitor in your own apartment. These feelings worsen when you add language and cultural differences to the equation. In these cases, it’s important to have some type of support system helping you in this process of finding stability. If not, you may end up spending more time in your apartment, alienating yourself even more from society. Another student told me that her room became her safe zone because of this struggle. A safe zone where she could be and express herself freely. It may also help to decorate your apartment in a way that creates a feel-at-home atmosphere. Maybe it’s just me, but the furthest I’ve ever gotten to decorating any apartment is by hanging a couple of pictures up on the wall using tape and putting up some post-it notes to keep track of my to-do list. I don’t like the idea of buying new appliances either. Even though I love cooking. I guess my mind got stuck on the idea of traveling light. Because I know I will be moving out of this apartment, whether it’s in a month or in a year. 

To have a home is much more than just having a place to live. Today’s article serves as an introduction to this topic of adapting to life in a foreign country. In the following articles, I will cover, among other things, language, culture, and friendships. It’s not necessary to have “studying abroad” included in your past or future plans to understand these articles. My goal is to give you an idea of what we as foreign students experience when living abroad. I have my experience with this topic, but it’s important to also have an idea of what others in similar situations went through. For this, I’ve asked several young students studying abroad to tell me their stories. The quotes in this article are some of their words. There are things many of us have in common and there are things we don’t. A mix between their stories and mine. That’s a simple description of what these articles will be.